TKD Testing--Green Belt

Today was my Tae Kwon Do Green Belt test, which was largely a disaster.

I arrived about one and a half hours early to warm up and to practice my form. Yellow Belts must demonstrate the third form (http://youtube.com/watch?v=q7i9z4ddg7I) before they are allowed to advance to Green Belt. The children also have to memorize something in Korean, but I was luckily spared this. (Here are youtube.com links to the other forms I “know”: First Form-http://youtube.com/watch?v=PZbVi4prqME; Second Form- http://youtube.com/watch?v=Gn6RqtpjzjE.) The problem is, I was taught this form Friday night in a bit of a rush, so I wasn’t quite sure how to do it and thus could not really practice it on Saturday morning. Then, the sabeonim led group warm-ups with the entire dojang. This proved a bit dangerous as the space is not that large. I worried that I might end up kicking one of the little kids in the head, thus rendering them unconscious (or maybe I’m overestimating the force of my kicks; or perhaps the durability of their skulls). It was also the fiercest warm-up I’d ever done for TKD with this dojang, though still not as difficult as the warm-ups in Chuncheon.

Finally, the kwanjangnim arrived. We practiced our bowing and polite language briefly. He told us to move to the back of the dojang so we could sit cross-legged and wait our turn. (Lydia H. also showed up to see me around this time too.)

There’s a slight problem with me sitting cross-legged. I tend to lose what little flexibility I have rather quickly. Still, that shouldn’t have been a problem on this day because we had warmed up a lot and, since I was a yellow belt, I should be going near the beginning of the testing. The kwanjangnim called us up by name. First the white belts, who did a splendid job performing the first form. Then the yellow belts. (Waiting for my name.)

Then the green belts. (Wait? What about me? Losing flexibility.)

Then some green belts and yellow belts. (Oh, I see. He’s mixing levels a bit. Well, that’s fine then. Still waiting. Still losing flexibility.)

Then the blue belts. (Oh, no…)

Then the brown. (It hurts, it hurts.)

Then the red. (At this point, the kids got in trouble for talking, which meant everyone had to do stretching. This was actually a blessing for me… Lydia told me later on that the kwanjangnim scolded the children because I had to stretch even though I wasn’t doing anything. I wish I could have told him, a la Oliver, “Please, sir, I want some more.”)

Then the red-black. (Dang… flexibility’s gone again.) And that should have been the end. I was distraught. Absolutely devastated. Why on earth would they not test me? Maybe they thought that since I had learned it the night before, that I was not worthy of the test yet. It haunted me.

And then, finally, “Jeremy-shi.” Apparently, since two children and I were from different dojang to get our earlier belts, we all had to test together last to prove we were worthy of this dojang. Well, having consumed alcohol the night before (though not too much, see below), having just sat cross-legged on the floor for an hour and fifteen minutes, having just learned the form the night before, having become emotionally distraught over my lack of testing, I did, in a word, horrendously. It was pretty embarrassing, actually, and I doubted whether I achieved the green belt level or not (I found out later that I had).

It was certainly not the way I wanted my first belt test to go at my new dojang.

As an added incentive, though perhaps it was more discouraging than inspiring, I was given the previous ATE’s black belt to mail to him in America. Since shipping would have been horrendous, I ended up sending it to the Power that Be’s office in Seoul instead, with their permission of course. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to accomplish his feat of a blackbelt in a year or not. Perhaps it’s possible. Then again, he is a trim and flexible triathlete. I am a guy who sat in the library for four years eating poorly and developing an addiction to coffee. This guy only exercised twice a month if he was lucky. I’m beginning to doubt my abilities in this area of athleticism, though I’m certainly going to keep taking classes. As my friends who are addicted to World of Warcraft would say, “I’m paid through for the month, after all.”