Meeting Children at the Jjimjilbang

As I said before, last Saturday I went to the jjimjilbang, a Korean bathhouse. Today, I remembered that a rather strange cultural situation presented itself while I was waiting in the common room for the girls to finish in their bathing area. I was watching some sort of game show on TV (If I'm correct, the contestants were put through a series of intelligence tests by professors, and the particular one I was watching at the moment was they had to say a color though the word they were looking at was in a different color.), when these two elementary school girls sat behind me and off to the side. I noticed they were whispering to each other and staring at me, so I smiled at them briefly and kept watching the TV. Then one of them said, "Hi!" and waved to me. "Oh, good," I thought. "They want to talk!" I was just saying, "Hi" back when the other girl hit the girl who had just been so friendly to the alien in a strange land and said something which sounded very chastising. The first girl stared at her friend blankly for a second, when suddenly a light came on in her head. "Oh!" she said, and then, facing me and bowing slightly, "Hello." (This actually sounded more like "Herroh", but 'r's are hard for Koreans.) I laughed to myself a little at this, but we proceeded to have a friendly conversation, I speaking what little Korean I knew, they speaking their considerably greater amount of English.

I just found it humorous. From what I've heard (and now seen), Korea is a land of deep custom. When you address superiors, you are supposed to speak with in a more formal linguistic mood, and this changes the endings of your nouns, adjectives, and verbs entirely. Since I was considerably older than the girls, I suppose the second girl chastised the first for addressing me in so informal a manner, with a simple "Hi" and a wave of the hand. Apparently, a person of my stature deserves a full "Hello" and at least a slight bow.

I've had to learn the difference also and am constantly bowing to teachers who live with us in the dorm. I just didn't imagine (though I should have) that small children, who are quite sincere in learning a new language, would also take along all of their cultural norms with them in using that language with a native speaker, even to the point of modifying a language of significant equality, at least equal in comparison with their own. It didn't occur to me until after I was done talking with them, but someday I hope they learn that in America, the way you show respect is by treating the person you address as an equal. Formality in the U.S., I feel, is for occassion and situation (i.e. ceremonies and at school, or when in the presence of someone particularly important), not everyday usage.

I will not begrudge them the kindness they showed though. They did share their sugared ice with me after all, and they did keep a stranger company while he waited in a place without friends.