Lydia came to watch the TKD testing and was equally confused about my going with the last group. She did come over to translate for a little bit though, but I fear that I was in a mood at that point and may have made her feel unwanted. Also, the sabeonim was giving instructions at that point, not about what she was translating, so I may have been perturbed a bit at her interrupting. At any rate, she told me that the children were reciting a letter to their mothers as part of the test, something I may want to memorize as well since some sort of spoken assessment is part of TKD testing usually. She also told me that the kwanjangnim thinks I’m doing well, but that I need to loosen up and relax my muscles when moving. This is something I’ve had problems with since Chuncheon even, and in general I have trouble relaxing my muscles even when trying to sleep. In fact, since starting TKD, with its emphasis on relaxing the muscles until the point of contact, I’ve noticed that when I close my eyes to go to sleep, I actually squeeze them a bit instead of letting them close naturally. Maybe this is why I’ve had trouble sleeping for… well, gosh, ages! It’s a hard habit to break, at any rate, and if I can’t get my eyes to relax without making a conscious effort, I somehow doubt that getting my legs to relaxing while kicking a target is going to be any easier.
We walked around the hamlet a bit after we mailed Dana’s black belt to Seoul, and she asked what was wrong. I was still in a mood for several reasons. One, the green belt test hadn’t gone well, which was frustrating. Two, I was still tired from last night’s drinking and hadn’t had a shower yet from last night’s TKD practicing, so I generally felt “icky”. Three, Lydia had told me that the family thought Jacob and Dana had picked up Korean faster than me, so they were able to talk to the family about more things. (My co-teachers have since assured me that this is not necessarily true.) This brought me low because one of the main reasons I came to Korea was to learn Korean, and I was having trouble getting actual instruction in the language due to the remoteness of my location. Talking out these frustrations with Lydia helped me, and I think what I have missed most living here is having someone from my own cultural background to talk to who knows how to console me using things from that culture. Even the teacher’s in the lounge kept commenting on how I looked so happy to have a friend in town on Friday. A little silly, I know, but the only other foreigners here aren’t even American, which, as I said in an earlier letter, means that even things like the 60s being the rebellious decade aren’t given cultural commonalities. I have no shared history with anyone within a 50-kilometer radius, and it is taxing.
We met Ryan at the bus terminal to await Rebecca’s arrival. Another happy meeting there with an old friend, and we were off on our tour of the hamlet. We drove to the other end of town and then took a walk out to the rock park out beyond the rice paddies on the East end. The rock park is essentially what it sounds like. A park with a bunch of rocks arranged in different ways, but they are nice to look at. (I mentioned in an earlier post that my host father does something similar on a smaller scale in the house as a hobby. I’ve since learned that this is called suseokhwei.)
By now, though, we were all ready to eat. (I was still in need of a shower, but food took precedence at this point.)
Now, on our way to the park, Ryan had asked about where I went to church in town, and I told him that, while I didn’t know the name, it was near a fairly well-known restaurant in the area called Serenade. He said he didn’t know it.
It was much to my surprise therefore when he suggested that we go to “Saeraenadae” (Serenade, Koreanized). Again, the reason why I was teaching the syllable lesson.
At any rate, Serenade offers what Lydia describes as a Korean-Western blend of menu choices, which she correctly defines as meaning, “They offer both Korean food and Western food.” Against everyone’s better judgment, including mine I ordered the spaghetti. (I wanted to order the sandwich on the menu, but they were out of the vegetables, bread, and lunchmeat…) When the spaghetti arrived, it was snack sized as far as Italian food goes, far too sweet to realistically have had any herbs or garlic in it, and it was topped with cheese. Not parmesian cheese, oh no! But Kraft American cheese, the kind you buy in singles packets from the grocery store to make cheap grilled cheese sandwiches. Fortunately, this less than satisfying entree was supplemented by my friends’ plates, which apparently had too much food on them.
We then played the traditional game of, “Let me pay the bill,” which in this case involved a physical race to the cash register as we attempted to prevent Ryan from paying. This continued throughout the rest of the day. I swear that he would’ve dropped $200 on us if we would have let him.
At this point, we haggled about what to do next (not even I mention the possibility of a shower, however, this going on 29 hours and two sessions of TKD without one) and eventually decide to head out to Bongpyeong to see Lee Hyo Seok’s house (my second visit) and Herbenara, or Herbland, a magical place filled with herbs (my first visit). We told Ryan that we’d help pay for gas, but he wouldn’t allow, following the Korean custom of loathing dutchpay.
Despite its cheesy name, Herbenara actually turned out to be a pleasant garden park. Admission was 5000 won. Classical tunes played with music box simplicity over the loud speakers as we strolled along the scented paths. There were areas to honor kitchen herbs, herbs mentioned in Shakespeare, herbs from the Bible, and other items. Since Rebecca and Lydia knew I had acted, they asked me to recite some of the Shakespeare lines posted on the signs in the Bard’s area. I think Andy White, my director from Romeo & Juliet would have been proud of my aspiration and sense of rhythm. Or embarrassed. We stopped in a greenhouse at some point and drank some hot herbal tea, which was a comfort as it unfortunately had been raining all day. This also caused the herbs to lose some of their scent I’m sure, and I hope to return on a warmer, sunny day when I can absorb their full force through my nasal passages. I have such a poor sense of smell as it is that something needs to be right under my nose to smell it most of the time.
After our adventures in Bongpyeong, we drove back to the hamlet under cover of darkness and ate dinner and shared light drinks at the restaurant I had met Ryan and Lydia at the night before. At some point during the conversation, it came out that Ryan thought that Lydia and Rebecca, who are both Asian (the former being Korean and the latter Chinese-German), were far more American than me. In terms of my attitude towards life, apparently, I’m pretty Korean. Lydia and Rebecca are loud and boisterous and crazy, yet guarded about their opinions, but I’m more of a stoic and relay my sincere feelings so that Ryan felt he could understand me better.
I find this interesting, though I don’t know if I’d agree. I do try to remain stoic about things, with the exception of happiness. (My guffaw offends the ears of those around me if I find something even slightly humorous.) I would also say that I try to be sincere.
At the same time, though, I don’t feel very Korean. There are still a lot of things here that I will never understand and may never even feel fully comfortable with. The physical attention couples show each other, for instance, where a boyfriend will grab his girlfriend’s neck in a choking gesture in order to show affection or the fact that if a girl crosses the threshold of a motel with a guy it means that she has consented to sex. Resistance just becomes part of the game at that point. Public drunkenness and displays of violence as well as people just watch idly by I’m not fully comfortable with either. But these are cultural things, and maybe it’s the fact that I just feel sincerely about them that makes me less American than some other expatriates here. This is not the case with Rebecca and Lydia, but with a lot of Americans in Korea, they’re just here for the money that can be had from “teaching” English. They will not bother to learn the Korean language, nor are they interested in the culture that surrounds them. They just want their money and a good time. A lack of sincere feelings indeed.
I’ll get off the soapbox now…
Ryan paid for the meal about halfway through the meal so that we couldn’t even fight him for the bill. Afterwards, we went to noraebang (karaoke), and we insisted that we pay, although he ended up buying drinks and snacks during the singing anyway. The man just didn’t know when to quit.
This was my first time actually singing at a noraebang, and it was about as enjoyable as I expected. Ah, well. Social activity in community does not always require full enjoyment, just full participation. I did call the night short, however, as I felt it would be inconsiderate to come back to the house much after midnight. Indeed, I felt it would probably be inconsiderate to come back after 11:00, but I wasn’t going to press the point. Lydia and Ryan thought we should stay out, but I reminded them that I have to live with my hostfamily in polite company for the remainder of my grant term. They didn’t have to live with the consequences of possibly offending them or, even I didn’t offend them, of seeming like an inconsiderate, rude American. Cultural ambassadorship and all that.
We said our goodbyes to Ryan (I got his phone number in case he ever returned to the hamlet), and we returned back to the house and composed ourselves for sleep as quietly as possible.
Oh, and I finally got my shower in… 40 hours and two sweat sessions since my last one. Yes!
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