Seoul / General Update as told in a letter home

Thus., Aug. 16th, 2007

I should preface the following update by saying the following. I am in Seoul right now. Seoul is a rather large city. I do not care for rather large cities because they are stressful and draining. This is especially true when you cannot speak the native language of the city, and often have no clue what is going on, or at least only a clue, which can be even more frustrating. Also,forgive the rambling.

I would like to write more in the future, and I have compiled a list of things to write about. Some of these I will try to write about very soon, but I’ve been quite busy lately, so I’m afraid an update of all I’ve been doing for the past few weeks will be a long time coming. My time will not get any less busy as tomorrow I am going to the hamlet to meet my homestay family as well as meeting my co-teacher and my principal. (Though my principal may or may not be around.) With this, of course, comes a whole new set of adjustments to make, which I fear will interfere with my blogging/emailing even more than these have been interfered with in the past. Besides which, I have to prepare a speech to give to the school I’m teaching at and my first lesson plan. So many things to do…

I will, however, update you on what has happened since I left 강완대학교 (Kangwan Univ.) and arrived in Seoul. I must vent about this or I fear I shall take my frustrations out on my school officials I’m meeting tomorrow. I have already cried a little about my situation, and I fear doing so again tomorrow. Both the venting and the tears would make a bad impression.

We left Chuncheon on Wednesday (Korean Liberation Day!). I was excited to come to Seoul because, despite the fact that numerous of the other ATEs had already gone on weekends, I had always stayed around the dorm to either rest up, study, or go on one of the more local outings planned for the weekend. We arrived at Yonsei University (one of the top three universities in Korea, and ostensibly Christian) around 11:30 and carted our luggage up some rather steep hills. The guys did this at any rate, the girls’ dorm being right where the luggage truck parked. We were given W 20,000 and a metro transit card worth W10,000 and sent on our merry way to explore the city.

At this point, I met up with some friends and went to have lunch. I wanted to have Mexican food, but ended up settling for Japanese Udong instead. Tasty and filling, but I wasn’t all that interested in having Asian food in such an international city. I would be eating it all year after all.

After this, we hopped on the subway to head up to Kyobo, a huge bookstore with a very nice English language selection, comparable to a small Barnes & Noble in the United States perhaps. Here I purchased a Korean grammar, its accompanying workbook, and a Korean language dictionary. I figure these will be nice to have at my homestay as I will not be able to really develop my reading and writing skills out in the countryside, though my speaking skills should go through the roof.

After this, I went to Myeongdong (the shopping/fashion district) with my friend Jon. He wanted to pick up some pants at a department store he remembered down there. I tagged along for a while, but soon got bored and decided to head back to the dorm where I would meet up with him and some others later for dinner.

And here is where my trouble started. Myeongdong is a rather large place, and because of the generic nature of the street vendors, it’s very easy to get turned around. So I got lost. Give me a map and subway card, and I can get you anywhere in a city, but put me at street level and I’m useless. Not entirely, but I felt that way. At any rate, I finally found the subway station, got on the correct line for Yonsei and got off at my stop.

At this point, I proceeded to walk for ages through the subway until I arrived at the exit which would point me towards Yonsei. Out of this, the signs suddenly stopped and I had to use my Boy Scout intuition (i.e. guess) which direction Yonsei was. I guessed right, but unfortunately the subway lets off on the Front Gate side of Yonsei.

For those who are not familiar with Korean university layouts, there is usually a front gate where administration buildings are and various side and back gates where university housing and class buildings are. My dorm was at North Gate, a good 30 minute walk from Front Gate. Since I didn’t know how to say North Gate, however, I decided that I’d try out the walk. About a minute into said walk, I felt a little pitter patter on my head. “Ah,” thinks I, “It will rain a bit. No matter. My text books are securely wrapped in this paper bag and God granted me skin to repel water. All shall be well.” Cue the lightning. Cue the thunder. Cue the drenching storm. 20 minutes left to go.

So, I walked the 20 minutes to the dorm. Cars passed me right and left, paying me no heed, as an obviously foreign chap wearing a Detroit Tigers hat and drenched from head to foot must obviously love to stroll through torrential rain hunched over a paper bag desperately trying to keep its contents dry. I arrived too late to meet my group. Luckily, the books were mostly dry.

I sauntered over to the girls’ dorm, still wet, to see if anyone was going to dinner. (Note: This was not so I could pick up girls. As the ATEs are mostly girls, the natural place for girls to meet was the girls dorm.) They were and said they would wait for me to change. They didn’t, but, in fairness towards them, I did take a shower. Luckily again, the group I had intended to meet arrived late as well, having gotten their hair done and this taking longer than expected. And so, I proceeded out with them, finally, to get my long awaited Mexican food. It was good, and a definite pick me up, though not like home. Later on, we had 팥빙수 (Patbingsu) with a friend of a friend who lives in Seoul. I had a Sapporro from a local convenience store. And we walked back to the dorm in the warmish weather.

I slept 7 hours solidly and arrived at Thursday morning still exhausted. We were to make our way to the Fulbright Building by 9:15 am somehow. We were given directions, but no times on how long it would take by either bus or taxi. My roommate Matt and I opted for the bus route. A nice Korean man let us know which stop we would need before he got off at his own. We followed his advice, saw many of our fellow ETAs milling around in the area quite confused in their own right, and eventually we all managed to find the The Program Building. The Program in Korea is quite proud of the structure as it is the only Program organization in the world to own its own building. They reminded us of this several times, and it seems to be the legacy that our director has left to the Program, besides being a pioneer for the ATE program in her own right. It is an impressive feat. Owning any land in Seoul seems to demand respect.

There were several meetings. One on diseases in Korea and how to avoid them. This was given by Dr. John L., who works out of Yonsei University’s Severance Hospital and is the ATE program’s primary care physician. Quite informative, though I think I could have passed on the second sexual education talk. Another presentation on the specifics of our contract with our schools. Another on the specifics of what our host families will be like. In between all of these, I was given a prize for a 팥빙수 eating contest I had won at the talent show some of the ATEs put on before we left Chuncheon. It was a green purse filled with random items including a CD, Pepto-Bismol, Motrin, Trident, a hair “scrunchie”, some pencils, etc. Needless to say, I was elated, and proceeded immediately to “regift” (as it is called in Korea) some of the more feminine items to my fellow ATEs.

After all of these meetings, we were told to make our way to the U.S. Ambassador’s residence for a pool party that the Deputy Ambassador was hosting for us. (The Ambassador could not make it himself, as he was still in the states, but he has promised to host a Thanksgiving dinner for us. Given that it will be hard to find Turkey in the hamlet, I am most grateful to him.) While proceeding through the subway, a most peculiar lady began following us. We think she may have been a bit mentally absent. Some of the girls were disturbed by this, but I took the strangeness in good humor. I was with friends after all, and it makes me braver in that kind of situation to have friends around. I feel like I can put on a good face for them.

At any rate, we eventually made it to the Ambassador’s residence. It was “guarded” by Seoul police officers who let us pass through with even asking us any questions. Waegukin priviledge I suppose. The food at the gathering was rather scrumptious. American food. Burgers, hotdogs, cheddar and jack cheeses, Triscuits, Coca-Cola (from Atlanta, GA!), berry pies, Nestle Carnation ice cream sandwiches… Heaven. Say what you want about the McDonaldization of the world, the big corporations pushing out the little guys, but when you’ve grown up on stuff like Nabisco and Coca-Cola and Nestle… when you see that again, and taste it and haven’t had anything familiar for a month and a half? Well, I missed it a great deal. And it was good. A swim in a swimming pool (Koreans don’t like be in the water too much except for bathing.) and good times with friends. A complete homelike experience.

But trouble started again. I lost my Detroit Tigers hat. Those of you who know me know that that hat has not been far from my head for about two years now. I was with a group of friends to go to Insadong to try some Korean teas, but I lost them too trying to make a call with a phone card that for some reason didn’t work. I was trying to call a friend at the Ambassador’s to ask if they had seen my hat. I went to Insadong by myself hoping, just hoping, that I would see my group in a window. No luck. So, tired, I hung my head and started the long journey home. Got off at my Yonsei stop, got a little lost on the street level again, but found my bearings. Got on the number three bus to take me back up to the North Gate (a Power that Be told us which bus would take us up; I was glad for this after last night’s fiasco). Missed my stop, but got off at the next one. By this time feeling incredibly lonely and wanting to either cry or sleep or the former until the latter overtook me. I saw a couple of the Powers that Be at a convenience store, but they didn’t seem like they wanted to talk. Pity, as I could have used a good talking to from someone who had already been through the loneliness factor. Bought a Powerade. Walked up the hill to the dormitory and began typing this.

There are supposedly 5 or 6 odd stages to Cultural Adjustment/Culture Shock. One of these stages is the Crisis stage. In this stage, the expatriot feels lost and frustrated and emotional and isn’t hungry and sleeps a lot and has a high amount of anxiety and, especially, misses home. It can last a couple of days. It can last a week. It can last a month. In the most severe forms of this, the expatriot will lash out at nationals. He or she is usually frustrated that despite the nationals best efforts and his or her own best efforts, communication still proves impossible and certain needs, or at least comforts, cannot be met. I thought I had hit this stage a couple of weeks ago. I thought I had pulled through it. Now I find I am still in the midst of it. I am still coping with the fact that, though I may be smart, and healthy, and sound of mind, my spirit has been broken here and needs mending. This will come with time. It must.

Hopefully, my feelings are symptomatic of my presence here in Seoul, one of the largest metropolises in the world. I hate cities as I said. They only amplify my anxiety and, ironically and as so many smarter people before me have indicated, my loneliness. I hope I will feel better when I come to the Hamlet. It is a farming town, famous for beef. Pop. 3000. People may not be any better at English there, and my Korean certainly won’t be better, at least not at first, but at least I will not be a non-entity there. At least, there, someone will be able to see that I am lonely or at least uncomfortable, and will make an effort to console me.

Do not get me wrong. Besides the getting lost, I have had a decent time here in Seoul. I would like to come back sometime when I do not have meetings to go to and required appointments. I would like to visit the city. Also, several good things have happened since I last wrote to you all. I have graduated from language classes. I have earned my Yellow Belt in TaeKwonDo. I have made a Korean friend who has even told me that we can exchange drinks using only one hand despite his being older than me and in many other respects within Korean hierarchy my superior. He gave me a t-shirt as well. World Without Strangers (WWS). A nice sentiment, and in some ways true. I was that optimistic when I first arrived here. I hope that I can regain that optimism again.

Tomorrow, as I said, I will meet my co-teacher and some school officials from the hamlet. I hope to make a good impression. Tomorrow is Yonsei Day, a national holiday of some kind. I must look my best. And so, good night.

Love,

Jeremiah